Not that I am guilty of this offence or getting grief for doing it, but herself announced (possibly by way of a pre-emptive warning!) some time ago that she hated finding the toilet seat up. Luckily, there are 2 other guys in the apartment that I can blame!
This seems to be another of those universal female things. I mean, I have never, ever heard of a guy complaining about finding the toilet seat down! If it's down, we'll raise it up and proceed (or just proceed in some vulgar cases!). We figure it's a 50:50 chance (in a mixed house!) that it'll be up already, and if not, hey, you win some and you lose some. Why finding the seat up irritates some women to a large degree is beyond me! I wouldn't mind but, unlike us poor men folk, you gals don't have to fight gravity like we do when lifting the seat up! It's easier from an energy expenditure standpoint to put the seat down when you have that 9.81m/s^2 of g-force assisting you! But do we complain, whine or bitch about it? Hell no, because we're troopers!!!!
One of my favourite "practical jokes" is to leave the toilet seat up in an all female house that I'm visiting. That's bound to annoy at least one of the residents! It's even sweeter when you don't have to go, but pop into the can and lift the seat anyway!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, February 06, 2006
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I propose the invention of a simple mechanism that automatically drops the toilet seat after say 10 mins. There would need to be a damper in the hinge springs and some kind of timed release mechanism (could be spring driven). Let's relegate this conflict of the sexes to the dustbin of history once and for all!
Patent it, quick!!!
Although, it still means us guys will always find the seat down unless we arrive within 10 minutes of the last man!
I propose an addendum:
The mechanism should be enhanced by the provision of a simple LCD control panel. This panel will allow users to not only vary the time interval before dropping the seat, but also to lift the seat also (by means of an inexpensive actuator). The control panel will also allow the users to change the default seat status based on the gender profile in the residence!
I'm sure the Japanese already have it or something like it :-
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japanese_toilet
No doubt they have!
That wikipedia page reminded me of my time in Japan (where squat thrusts meant something else!!) - I remember western style toilet seats which warmed your arse (they were plugged into the wall!). That was great except if you were dossing at work, in which case you'd end up with a red ring around your bum!!!
That's a pretty impressive dashboard that comes with that fancy jacks! I'd heard about the female toilet that drowns out any embarrassing noises before! I wonder to they have a mobile version to drown out fart noises? That would be a male product though, probably!
Any more suggestions for "Pimp my Jacks"?!!!!!!
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